okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Also, beer. Big fan.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
