So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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