I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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