OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
