none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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