Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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