Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
