I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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