the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
