I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Randomize
