I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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