I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i drank out of a bidet.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize