Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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