i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
