the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
