I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
