why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
