so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize