Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
