i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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