did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
