you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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