your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
