When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
