glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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