you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
