bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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