tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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