Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
