Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize