Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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