If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
