oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just blew my weed a kiss
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Randomize
