I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm sobbing to NWA
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
