oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
as a side note pls kill me
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
