sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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