Whod you bang
Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
