I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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