problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
