what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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