and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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