I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
