We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
