I hate your face
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
