The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
