Yo dont text me then not text me
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
