I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
