Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
