K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
