Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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