Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
