Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Randomize
