pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
