Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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