I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I AM VODKA MAN
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
