worst night to have a conscience
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize