I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
soo... how was my night?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
