I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
