here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
