the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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