Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
