I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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