I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
