I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
