and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
