Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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