but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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