i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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